Funny Work Quotes - Set 01

Posted by Olympiad Tester on


1. “No man goes before his time — unless his boss leaves early.” — Groucho Marx

2. “I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.” — Les Dawson

3. “The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” — Oscar Wilde

4. “I am a friend of the working man, and I would rather be his friend, than be one.” — Clarence Darrow

5. “By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” — Robert Frost

6. “If my boss knew how unproductive I am on Fridays, he wouldn’t want me here either.” — James Johnson

7. “Here’s some advice: At a job interview, tell them you’re willing to give 110 percent. Unless the job is a statistician.” — Adam Gropman

8. “Every Friday, I like to high five myself for getting through another week on little more than caffeine, willpower, and inappropriate humor.” —Nanea Hoffman

9. Bob: “Looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately.” Peter: “I wouldn't say I've been missing it, Bob.” —Bob (Paul Wilson) and Peter (Ron Livingston), Office Space

10. “I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” — Bill Gates

11. “Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” — Leslie Nielsen

12. "Employers are at their happiest on Mondays. Employees are at their happiest on Fridays." — Mokokoma Mokhonoana

13. “If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?” — Albert Einstein

14. “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” — Charles Lamb

15. “The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.” — Vidal Sassoon

16. “If at first, you don’t succeed, delegate it.” — Mark Twain

17. “The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” — Robert Frost

18. “I always give 100% at work: 13% Monday, 22% Tuesday, 26% Wednesday, 35% Thursday, 4% Friday.” — Unknown

19. “I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” — Jerome K. Jerome

20. “The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want.” — Ben Stein

21. “The problem with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.” — Lily Tomlin

22. “Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” — Edgar Bergen

23. “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.” — Unknown

24. “My boss asked me to start the presentation with a joke. So I used my paycheck.” — Unknown

25. “The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” — Oscar Wilde

26. “If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” — John Gotti

27. “When your work speaks for itself, don’t interrupt.” — Henry J. Kaiser

28. “I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” — Bill Gates

29. “The only thing I achieved this week was a high score on Candy Crush.” — Unknown

30. “The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.” — Unknown

31. “The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning, you’re on the job.” — Slappy White


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