Funny quotes on love and marriage

1. “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.” — Will Ferrell

2. “Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love” — Albert Einstein

3. “Some people care too much. I think it's called love.” — Winnie the Pooh

4. “Love is being stupid together.” — Paul Valery

5. “I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.” — Jimmy Kimmel

6. "Never marry a man you wouldn’t want to be divorced from." — Nora Ephron

7. "You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams." — Dr. Suess

8. “We're all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness--and call it love--true love." — Robert Fulghum

9. “If love is the answer, then could you rephrase the question?” — Lily Tomlin

10. "You know you are in love when the two of you can go grocery shopping together." — Woody Harrelson

11. “My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don’t really know me.” — Garry Shandling

12. “I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” — Rita Rudner

13. “Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love." — Charles M. Schulz

14. “A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short." — Andre Marois

15. “My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.” — Halley Reed (Mia Farrow), Crimes and Misdemeanors

16. “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” — Mignon McLaughlin

17. “Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you’re looking for a club and a spade.” — Unknown

18. “Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?” — Groucho Marx

19. “Marriage is when a man and woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.” — Unknown

20. “Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash.” — Joyce Brothers

21. “You can't put a price tag on love. But if you could, I'd wait for it to go on sale.” — Hussein Nishah

22. “I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” — Rita Rudner

23. “Marriage is when a man and woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.” — Unknown

24. “The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it.” — Ann Bancroft

25. “Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.” — Natasha Leggero

26. “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” — Mignon McLaughlin

27. “Before I got married, I had six theories about raising children. Now, I have six children and no theories.” — John Wilmot

28. “Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.” — Phyllis Diller

29. “To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.” — Helen Rowland

30. “All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.” — Charles M. Schulz