Best Dad Jokes - Set 05

1. I've crafted an excellent construction joke, but I'm still fine-tuning it.

2. I used to dislike facial hair, but then I became fond of it.

3. I opted to sell my vacuum cleaner; it was merely collecting dust!

4. Years ago, I got a neck brace fitted, and since then, I've never looked back.

5. People claim they pick their noses, but I feel like I was born with mine.

6. What possesses a brown and adhesive quality? A stick.

7. Why is it impossible to hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom? The 'P' is silent.

8. What denotes an insignificant elephant? An irrelephant.

9. What do you receive from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.

10. I take pleasure in sharing Dad jokes. Occasionally, he even laughs!

11. Which insect has the most appealing fragrance? A deodor-ant.

12. I once worked as a personal trainer. Then I handed in my too-weak notice.

13. Have I recounted the instance when I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head!

14. If a child declines to nap during nap time, are they culpable of resisting a rest?

15. I ordered a chicken and an egg online. I’ll inform you later.

16. It requires courage to be an organ donor.

17. If you witness a crime at an Apple Store, does that make you an iWitness?

18. I excel at sleeping so much that I can do it with my eyes closed!

19. I planned to share a time-traveling joke, but it wasn't well-received.

20. What did the veterinarian say to the cat? "How are you feline?"

21. What do you call a lethargic baby kangaroo? "A pouch potato!"

22. What transpires when M&M’s can't agree on anything? "They reach an M-passe."

23. What do you label a fraudulent noodle? "An impasta."

24. What do you term a belt made of watches? "A waist of time."

25. What unfolds when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street? "A traffic jam."

26. What do you call two monkeys sharing an Amazon account? "Prime mates."

27. What do you dub a pony with a sore throat? "A little hoarse."

28. Where do math educators vacation? "Times Square."

29. Whenever I attempt to eat healthily, a chocolate bar gazes at me and Snickers.

30. How does garlic behave when it gets hot? "It sheds its cloves."

31. What is a robot's preferred snack? "Computer chips."

32. How much does it cost Santa to park his sleigh? "Nothing, it's on the house."

33. Mountains aren't merely amusing; they're hill areas.

34. What do clouds put on? "Thunderwear."

35. Why are piggy banks astute? "They're filled with common cents."