Best Dad Jokes - Set 04

Posted by Olympiad Tester on


1. What's the best thing about Switzerland? "I don't know, but the flag is a big plus."

2. Where do boats go when they're sick? "To the boat doc."

3. What did Baby Corn say to Mama Corn? "Where's Pop Corn?"

4. How do you get a squirrel to like you? "Act like a nut."

5. I asked my dog what's two minus two. He said nothing.

6. What has more letters than the alphabet? "The post office!"

7. I got carded at a liquor store, and my Blockbuster card accidentally fell out. The cashier said never mind.

8. Where do you learn to make a banana split? "Sundae school."

9. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? "It was two tired."

10. What do you call someone with no body and no nose? "Nobody knows."

11. What did one hat say to the other? "Stay here! I'm going on ahead."

12. I don't trust those trees. They seem kind of shady.

13. Dad, did you get a haircut? "No, I got them all cut!"

14. My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right!

15. What do you call a poor Santa Claus? "St. Nickel-less."

16. Why don't eggs tell jokes? "They'd crack each other up."

17. Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I'm not going to spread it!

18. I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

19. Have you heard about the chocolate record player? It sounds pretty sweet.

20. If a child refuses to nap, are they guilty of resisting a rest?

21. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles.

22. I have a joke about chemistry, but I don't think it will get a reaction.

23. What concert costs just 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback!

24. What does a bee use to brush its hair? "A honeycomb!"

25. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.

26. Why did the math book look so sad? Because of all of its problems!

27. What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese.

28. My dad told me a joke about boxing. I guess I missed the punch line.

29. What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers!

30. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.


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